Calling in the Artillery

With a sigh of relief, Oakley gets his last antibiotic pill at bedtime tonight with his snack. Then we will go out. Then we will watch something on YouTube or Netflix, and then we will sleep.

That’s been at a premium lately. The colitis flareup just wouldn’t quit and the Chinese herbs barely touched it. As soon as it calmed down, something triggered it off again. Did I undercook something? Did he eat one of those tidbits that repulse humans but count as delicacies to dogs? I will spare you the details, but after throwing everything I had in terms of herbs and homeopathy at it, the diarrhea just wouldn’t quit and grew worse. I called and had the vet fill a prescription for the antibiotic and an antidiarrheal.

We both slept better that night and have since. He’ll go back on the herbs for longterm management tomorrow. And please to whomever is listening, may we not go through this for a long time. Never would be my preference.

In Oakley’s case, he has cyclical overgrowths of gut bacteria which triggers off the diarrhea. He also stresses out easily.  He sensitivity to my moods, my storms doesn’t help. One of my local friends who does energy work commented that she’s never seen a dog and a human hardwired into each other the way that Oakley and I are. Knowing what goes on in my ADHD-addled mind and the unanswered questions in my heart, it cannot be easy for him.

When I gave him probiotics, it exacerbated the whole mess. And I do mean mess. I tried slippery elm, an herb for both constipation and diarrhea, and let’s just say that it backfired on an epic scale.

I really don’t like pharmaceuticals, but sometimes it becomes necessary to bite the bullet and just make the call  for the refill. Yes, I will own my paranoia over the effects of antibiotics. And I will own my stuff over many doses prescribed to me by the prescription-happy family doctor who treated my family in my childhood. I just don’t like them.

Yes, I know that medicines can save lives. Maybe it’s arrogance on my part, but I always feel as if I failed him somehow when we need to resort to that. I go to herbs first, second, and third, but when they don’t work, I get frustrated as hell with them and myself.

And there are still the lingering questions that I can never let go of about choices made for Orion. Did I do something that caused the lymphoma? Over vaccinate? Too many rounds of steroids to get him some relief from his allergies? Could I have done something differently?

I don’t know, but peace with those questions isn’t forthcoming.

But if there is a next flareup, I will call a lot sooner.

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